"What the friggin' frack?" Our beloved series is almost over, the beginning of the end being January 2009! What is a queer girl to watch now? However will we spend our Sunday nights? Well breathe easy fellow L-Word lovers-Showtime announced last week that character Alice Pieszecki will be the star of the show’s spin-off!
Our dear Ilene is making it so that the finale of our favorite series will set the stage for Alice’s new solo show. According to media reports, the spin-off will debut online first, and then possibly make a move to the boob tube. Whether it’s on a computer or a plasma screen, I can’t wait to see what wacky adventures await my favorite L-Worder!
As awesome as “Shane and the City” or “Everybody loves Bette” spin-offs would have been, I think Leisha’s character demonstrates the most potential to carry the queer torch. An outspoken, insecure, neurotic, and wise-cracking feminist with a penchant for all things gay and dramatic, Alice’s mouth, heart, and girl parts are destined to make for some must-see TV. Last season, Alice was questioning her future with Tasha and trying to secure a permanent spot on The Look. One can only guess how the series will end and leave Ms. Pieszecki, but hopefully it’s in a good place, both in mind, body, and spirit.
Because we are discussing the unknown, I can only imagine what could happen to Alice in her new wonderland. What crazy obstacles and climatic consequences will our feisty friend face all alone in WeHo? Luckily, I have an overactive imagination, one that can vividly envision the possible paths Alice can take on the solo road. Here are some storylines I recommend for our girl as she spins off:
· Alice dumps Tasha and goes on a dating spree! She decides to test the bisexual waters once again, contacts MTV, and stars in her own Shot at Love, where Lisa (the lesbian man) makes a cameo and becomes one of the top three finalists.
· Alice decides to open up her own Planet, calling it the worLd. Every night is “ladies night” at Alice’s new hot spot, where she and Papi personally host/judge Turkish oil wrestling matches.
· Alice aggressively pursues TV journalism and leaves The Look. She then becomes the star of her own talk show and brings OurChart to national television, freaking out right-wing Republican Jesus freaks everywhere.
· Missing Dana more than usual, Alice goes to a psychic medium in an effort to re-connect with her. She and Dana’s ghost end up having a paranormal, otherworldly romance that’s ultimately consummated with Alice jumping off an Olivia cruise ship and joining Dana in the afterlife. (A little morbid, but sweet no?)
· Alice decides to dedicate herself to her journalism full-time and globally, traveling through the Middle East to document the secret lives of Muslim lesbians and distributing rainbow prayer rugs.
· Alice and Tasha get married and go on a child adoption extravaganza, becoming mothers to a total of five children from Russia, Thailand, North Africa, and (twins from) Vietnam.
· Alice runs for office in 2012! Pieszecki for President bitches!
Besides my really rad propositions, who knows where Alice is really headed? Ms. Pieszecki is such a crazy, complex little queer that her life can go in any direction. Whatever becomes of Alice, I just hope Irene and Company don’t suppress the quirky, lovable, and loud-mouthed persona that defines the character we have grown to love. Stay tuned as Alice’s story goes on…
