Tagged under "mtv" (3)
|The Real (Queer) World|
I’ve always had a problem defining my sexuality. I dated men until I was 23, and then only women since then. Newly single and enjoying this solitude of being, I find myself holding onto “queer” as a sexual identity tighter then ever. Especially since we live in a world that loves dichotomy, where lines are constantly drawn and people are hell-bent on labeling/defining gender and sexuality with a fury. And even though it’s 2009, a new year doesn’t always bring about a new attitude, especially when it concerns sex.
The LGBTQ community has always gotten shit for being themselves, loving who they do, and wanting the rights every human undeniably should have. Proposition 8, among other things, is the prime example right now of how our community is continuously denied legal rights because of our sexual orientation. After all the oppression we have faced and continue to on a daily basis, why does the LGBTQ community join forces with homophobic, heterosexist America in ostracizing queer folks who refuse to label/define their sexuality?
MTV’s The Real World Brooklyn premiered Wednesday, January 7 and introduced us to Sarah Rice, a queer woman from San Francisco. Sarah has only dated women in the past, but is now in a committed relationship with a man. In a recent interview with a gay website Sarah explains how her lack of a sexual orientation (for lack of better words) has many in a tizzy. She goes on to explain how she is constantly questioned on how she identifies-gay, straight, or bi- and how she chooses to not acknowledge either three identities but instead define herself simply by who she loves.
These folks Sarah speaks of- which include members of the LGBTQ community- criticize, hassle, and are dumbfounded by her refusal to define her sexuality. In the premiere episode where Sarah’s coming out and current relationship came up, Ryan (Sarah’s straight male housemate) asked her “I’m just wondering how you converted”.
Converted? I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at his choice of words! The idea that Sarah could be bi/queer seemed so out of this world to him that his only reasoning for it was that she decided to switch sides. The notion that there could only be one gender Sarah is interested in screwing and that she had to choose is one that Ryan shares with many people- gay and straight. Well, Ryan (and everyone likeminded), sexuality is not a religion! The experience of intercourse can be a holy, sacred thing, but there are no rules and regulations when it comes to who your heart wants to hump.
Besides Sarah Rice, Lindsey Lohan, Aubrey O’Day and Jess Origliasso (from The Veronicas) have all gotten flack for not confirming or declaring their bi/queer sexuality. Not that I want any of these particular chicks playing for our team, but whether they do or don’t should not be my- or anyone else’s- main concern regarding their character. The fact that Sarah works as an educator and advocate for survivors of (sexual) abuse using art and creative therapy does not catch as much attention as the fact that she is sleeping with a dude.
Indeed, many queer folk I know and have come across (young lesbians, particularly) harshly criticize people like Sarah for being a sexual fence-sitter. In fact, many gays and lesbians refuse to date someone who is bi/questioning/queer because these people refuse to check off a box labeling their love for a.) Penis or b.) vagina. They use terms such as “traitor”, “faux-homo”, and “hasbian” to label women and men who are bisexual/queer and in a relationship with the opposite sex. This kind of ideology is an attack on bisexuality as an authentic part of the LGBTQ community as well as a call to question what exactly “queer” stands for and who it includes. This attitude also serves as a reflection of the gay and lesbian community’s own internalized homophobia.
So why are some (queer) people so scared to accept another person’s queerness? Why is bisexuality still not considered a valid sexual orientation by society and the LGBTQ community? And doesn’t “queer” -as we know it now through LGBTQ/gender studies and popular definition- encompass all sexualities, all desires, all forms of fetishes and lusts?
Seems like we have a long way to go in terms of tolerance and acceptance of all members of our great rainbow community. But what it breaks down to is simple: Love is love. It sees no color, no creed, and definitely no gender. That’s an adage I’ve had since I can remember, and it makes total sense to this day.
In this real queer world of ours, it is hard enough finding someone we can connect with on a deeper level, much less fuss over what genitalia they are carrying. Just like no one has the right to out someone, no one has the right to hate on someone who won’t pick a team to play for. Especially if they are members of your own community. I give props to people like Sarah who know labels are for cans, who don’t let society push them into defining their sexual identity but instead claim and create their own.
The Real World Brooklyn is on MTV Wednesday nights at 10pm.
Tagged on January 16, 2009
|The 2008 VMA Eye Candy Awards|
Am I the only queer that still tunes in year after year to watch the MTV Video Music Awards? Not that this particular awards show targets/caters to the GLBTQ community in any way, but as 21st century homo sapiens, can we really turn our faces to such a heavily propaganda-ed event? Can a girl really resist the glitz and glamour of VMAs, especially during a non- L Word season? Unable to myself, I tuned in and focused on the most important aspect of the event: the hot Hollywood chicks showing off their (musical) goods.
The theme for this year’s VMAs was “Nothing is as it seems”. Well I beg to differ- the show was exactly how it seemed- unremarkablely ordinary. Except for a few sets used by Paramore and the Jonas Brothers that masqueraded as locations other than the Paramount, everything else lacked magic. What was definitely not an illusion was all the eye candy the show provided. From the usual stunning starlets to some sizzling surprises, this year’s VMAs were chock full of foxy ladies strutting their stuff.
The ladies indeed looked so smoking that I just had to take note of every knockout that was present, presented, or performed. From the crazy planet known as Hollywood, the 2008 MTV VMA Eye Candy award winners are:
Britney Spears- Looking more refreshed and lucid than ever, “It’s Britney bitch” finally made a real comeback, opening the show with quirky Jonah Hill and scoring the most awards for the night (Best Female Video, Best Pop Video, and Video of the Year). I’m not really a Britney fan, but seeing her sparkling smile and hot bod covered in a shimmering, silver sequined dress was enough to make me forget that she married K-Fed and says “ya’ll” a lot.
Rihanna- Opening up the show as a gothic cake-topping leader of a “Cirque de Zombies” dance troupe, Chris Brown’s main squeeze scored with every outfit throughout the night. Whether it was in dominatrix styled dress or biker bitch gear, Rihanna's curves were constantly hugged by all black attire, making her the night’s sexiest (and scariest) siren as she performed “Disturbia” and “Live Your Life” with T.I.
Katy Perry- With a dazzling, red-lipsticked smile and Wonder Woman-esque satin get-up, this fake-bi brunette bombshell looked – and sounded- awesome. Very good at getting both queer and straight folks in a tizzy, Katy had the audience all ears as she covered Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” and sang her own chart-topping, sorta Sapphic hit “I Kissed a Girl” (even though MTV cut these performances short with commercials). I still don’t believe that she kissed a girl and liked it, but believe that she looked damn good in a white and gold halter and hot pants.
Demi Moore- In complete MILF mode, Mrs. Kutcher stepped onstage to present the award for “Best Male Video”, showing off her killer gams in a short black skirt. This “Striptease” star had me wishing I was Ashton for a day. Demi certainly affirms the old adage of women like wine being finer with time.
Taylor Swift- Introducing the beloved Jonas brothers’ set, this blue-eyed blonde country sensation in a pretty pink dress is beautiful jail bait for sure. Taylor has legs for days, and a body that I can’t comprehend how Joe Jonas resists, holy promise ring or not.
Lindsey Lohan- Looking oh-so-Sapphic in Bette-ish attire, LiLo must have had Sam sweating in her seat. Slender and elegant in a sleeveless tuxedo shirt and black pants, Lindsey co-presented the awards for the VMA Dance Battle and the “Best Dancing in a Video” with Ciara, begging any dyke to wish we could officially welcome her into the Queer Club.
Pussy Cat Dolls- Okay, so these girls can’t really sing. But they can really dance, scoring the award for “Best Dancing in a Video” this year. The famous fivesome looked ravishing in pastel colored dresses and white pantsuit, seemingly representing the United Nations of Barbies. When I grow up, I want a manage a cinq with these dolls.
Hayley Williams – This wild red-headed, feisty emo chick was bouncing with energy as she performed “Misery Business” in a faux Whiskey a Go Go set with her band Paramore. With a tiny but spirited body and in head-bang inducing tight yellow jeans, Hayley rocked her way into the hearts of Suicide Girls everywhere.
Pink- This maybe queer crooner gave us the best performance of the night! Looking super-blonde and uber-fierce in an electric blue gabardine and black body suit, Pink was breaking shit and singing her heart out to “So What”. With electric tape covering her nipples and a gluteus maximus to die for, our favorite divorcee had everyone wanting to start a fight- for her heart.
Christina Aguilera- Proving that having kids does a body good, Xtina looked fantastic and futuristic in a caped superhero bodysuit and banged blonde locks. This former Mouseketeer was begging to be rubbed the right way as she belted out a 2008 dance version of her hit “Genie in a Bottle” and her new hit “Keeps getting Better”. For sure she does!
Lauren Conrad- So she’s not the smartest cookie in the jar. The girl still looks awesome in an empire-waisted white mini dress, bearing cleavage like nobody’s business. This Hills hottie presented the “Best New Artist Award” to Tokio Hotel, and had some of us wishing she’d leave the Hills for WeHo and go gay, even if it was just for Shane.
Kim Stolz- our very own queer Top Model contestant, who is now a news correspondent for MTV, looked femme and fabulous in a loose-fitting little black dress and long dark locks. I still prefer Kim when she’s more butched out, but being a cherry chapstick lesbian works for Ms. Stolz too. Katy should have kissed Kim; I’m sure she would have liked the taste.
Other winners of the night included Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, Linkin Park, and Tokio Hotel. The highlight was definitely Jordin Sparks calling Russell Brand a “slut”, standing up for “celibate” teen pop stars everywhere. And although its ratings were higher than the previous two years, this year’s Video Music Awards show was pretty bland, spiced up only by the sexy senoritas I named. Besides a few key performances by Rihanna, Pink, and Christina Aguilera, there were no show-stopping, breathtaking moments. I guess MTV’s usual shock and awe shtick for the VMAs are a thing of the past. Things really were as they seemed- hip hetero Hollywood stroking its collective ego and reveling in their video musical genius. Hot women, as usual, saved the day.
Tagged on September 17, 2008
|Ashli Haynes from A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila|
I got the opportunity to sit down and chat with Ashli Haynes this week. Yes Ashli “the virgin” from MTV’s reality show A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila. Originally from NJ, she has now made the big move to sunny LA to pursue her dreams. Not only is she finishing up her demo, which she hopes will jump start her singing career, she also takes to stage and screen to show case her acting ability. If that wasn’t enough, Ashli also has a budding photography career. You can check out her photography at :
- I though I’d start the interview off with a hard hitting question.
So what was it like sleeping in the BIG bed?
[Ashli] That was insane. I’ve never done anything like that before. I don’ t think anyone on the show has slept in a bed with that many people before. At first it was very uncomfortable for me what with all the people and I’m very conscious of my space. The fact that there were guys there made it even weirder. After getting to know every one it was kind of ok and when people got narrowed down it got more comfortable. I mean it was a HUGE bed.
What about the incident between Rebecca and Steven in the bed?
I know I was right next to it and I was completely clueless until the next day when Domenico was doing his thing with the bear. I didn’t believe it, I was like “no that didn’t happen” I mean I was right there you’d think that I would have woken up and heard something or seen something, but no.
You just came out but when did you know you where lesbian?
Being young I didn’t know how to identify it. I didn’t think in my head oh I’m gay. I was kind of always aware of who I was and my feelings. I had my first crush on a girl when I was like nine.
What was your reaction when you found out that Tila was Bi?
I was surprised. When we were walking out and we saw all the guys it didn’t dawn on me. I didn’t know why they were there. Then she was talking about revealing her secret and I still hadn’t gotten it. When she said she was Bi I was like, "Wow, oh my God." I think disappointment is too much of a strong word, but you know that’s just who she is I guess. I kind of realized if I was going to get to know this girl and have feelings for her that being Bi just comes with the package and try to accept it.
So what’s it like being known as Ashli “the virgin”?
The first thing out of people mouths is “you’re the virgin“. They won’t even say hey Ashli. I mean I do have a name. I think there’s definitely worse things to be known as. I think that’s just who I am right now obviously at some point in my life that will change. I wont be a virgin forever.
The show was kind of like your coming out. How does it feel now being out?
It feels good I just got so much support. If I could recommend a way to come out I would recommend coming out on nation television. If that’s what you’re ready for. I was ready. I was tired, I wouldn’t say of living a lie, I was just tired you know.
What do you think of “HEY, GIRL HEY”?
I love that saying. I still go around saying it.
Was there anyone one the show that you just didn’t like?
I tried to stay out of drama and stay out of peoples way and I don’t feel like anyone necessarily did anything to me on the show.
Was there anyone on the show that you just really got along with?
Dani. I thought she was so charming and so sweet and so smart and just so down to earth. Domenico is another person I loved. He’s just a nice genuine guy.
On the show you got to see something special. What do shaved balls look like?
Actually, I didn’t look. Poor Michael I feel so bad for him.
Who is your Hollywood Crush?
Alicia Keys. I think she is so gorgeous and not only is she gorgeous she is smart and she just seems like she has this spiritual thing about her. She is so charismatic and she seems so in tune with herself. Oh, and she’s sooooo talented. So yeah, I love her.
On the first episode you got to wear a sexy outfit. Are you really a girl scout?
No, but my sister was.
If you where a girl scout cookie, what would you be and why?
Oh wow, good question. Umm I think I would be a thin mint because it’s sweet but refreshing. I think I’m a sweet person but my honesty is refreshing.
One last question. Now that you’re out what kind of woman are you looking for?
Someone who is honest, genuine and funny. Someone who can make me smile. I need someone who has their own life and is independent. No messy codependents.
There you have it folks. Ashli’s just your average Thin Mint kind of girl. I guess it’s only a matter of time before some lucky lady gets to take a bite.
Don't forget to check out Ashli Haynes on myspace at http://www.myspace.com/ashlihaynes
Tagged on February 15, 2008