Tagged under "alice" (7)
The L Word Series Finale Leaves it all to the Imagination
I wish I could tell you that what happened last night was not actually The L Word series finale. I wish I could tell you that the characters and storylines developed over six years met with a sense of closer. I WISH, that last night’s extended episode wasn’t a half-assed “who dun it?” that failed to answer anyone’s questions. But, no one really cared who killed Jenny anyway and if you’re like me, you’ve learned long ago not to look to The L Word for content and character development. We tune into the show for different reasons, mostly because watching straight girls make out is hot. Watching the show in a crowded lesbian bar is akin to what I imagine happens when a frat house holds porn night. We’re all just hanging around till the next racy scene and The L Word faithfully delivers a little something for everyone, knife play from Helena and Dylan, routine relationship sex from Bette and Tina, dirty cheater sex from Shane and Nikki…We have the show to thank for bringing the image of sexually autonomous women, expressing themselves outside the heterosexual dichotomy prevalent on television. At least that’s what I told myself as I watched the series flounder to a close. We were handed a few gems; Alice telling Jamie and Tasha were to stick it, Max’s fake mustache and his “framily” love, Bette and Tina finally deciding to stay together, and best of all, Shane figuring out that Jenny is horrible enough to break up with. Molly finally served a purpose when she showed up to tip Shane off on Jenny’s trickery. Shane finds the letter from Molly that Jenny never passed on along with the film negative of Lez Girls. At least we got the opportunity to hate Jenny one more time before she selfishly died (alone?) (in the pool?) (who cares?)  dragging the entire cast down to the station for interrogation from Xena Warrior Princess. And then…it was over. Does Tasha end up with Jamie? Does Alice move on? Does Max give up the baby? Does Bette stay faithful? Does Dylan sue Helena again? Now we’ll never know. I’m not sure The L Word had the responsibility to answer those questions for us though. The show had a responsibility to show that lesbians are a growing and reliable audience, that viewers are hungry for queer characters they can relate too, and that Jennifer Beals is still hot. Job well done ladies, job well done.
Tagged on March 10, 2009
The L Word Season 6 Is A Dance To The Death
Now, this was the second to last episode of the ENTIRE L Word series right? This was the second to last episode of the ENTIRE series and it was told through the art of dance. Do I need to say that again? WOW, First I was afraid, I was petrified. Bette and Tina were wearing matching dresses for Christ ‘s sake. Perhaps they could have hired professional dancers to compete in place of the ladies of The L Word, then I might have been spared what seemed like the most awkward 45 seconds of my life, as I sat open-mouthed (and not in a good way) watching Jenny and Shane to perform their mating dance, mounting each other, at what was supposedly a fund raiser for children. I was left wondering what awfulness I'd just seen, just as Shane got back to the business of being Shane, and I still don’t know why, Nikki Stevens showed up and the randy hairdresser was in the bathroom with her, taking her pants down; so much for the power of contemporary dance. Next Jenny guilt trips Nikki into donating a date to the charity, then she outbids everyone to win the date for Shane, proving that she is indeed smarter than everyone else. Jenny’s even got Bette on her toes threatening to tell Tina that she thinks Bette has been cheating with Kelly. You know, if there was any episode they should have written Jessie Spano into, it surely should have been the dance competition episode. Don’t they remember when Jessie and Zack nearly won the dance off at The Max? Instead, we have Marlee Matlin showing off the fact that she did Dancing with the Stars, and I really could have done without having to watch Bette grope all over Tina in their shiny, shiny dresses. In real life, Tina has been offered a job in New York and Bette jumps at the chance to leave her dirty ways behind. They are all set to make the move with their newly expanding family until they find that their birth mother has stood them up. That’s what they get for trying to make a pregnant lady take a Greyhound bus from Vegas to LA. That’s a 7 hour ride with an hour stop-over in Bakersfield. Cheapskates. Of course the gem of the evening was Alice, Tasha and Jamie dancing to “Push It” in full Salt’n Pepa costume. I’m sorry, a 5.5 from the judges? That’s almost as lame as Tasha stealing Jamie from Alice! Alice was totally into Jamie and they were going to run away together until Tasha all of a sudden got a personality. Although beggars can’t be choosers and I’m happy with anything that breaks up Alice and Tasha. With only one more episode to go, The L Word still has lots to cover. Perhaps the series finale will feature a full musical theater number to explain Jenny’s death, “Cell Block Tango” perhaps?
Tagged on March 3, 2009
L Word Recap: Cheaters Never Prosper On The L Word Episode 6
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, someone once said. They we're obviously not a lesbian. After two weeks away in London, I noticed strange new feelings while catching up with the ladies of The L Word. Where I used to experience rage at the sight and sound of Jenny Schecter, I found myself thinking funny thoughts like; "Jenny is an interesting character" and “Jenny says hilarious things.” Maybe she won me over when she called Max a "Mom-Dad". All told, I seem to be moving through Jenny hate straight onto Jenny appreciHate. The thing is she is a complex character, perhaps the only one on the show, and she does retain her fleshed out history throughout her interactions. Her multi-faceted character is written in a way that allows her to be hated by so many people for various reasons at once; the central narrative for Season 6, so it isn't a stretch to believe any of them could want her dead. Without Jenny, who would of thrown Max a Willy Wonka baby shower? It is perhaps the best idea anyone has ever had and I am pretty sure that Max should wear that costume ALL the time. It looked oddly fitting on him. The shower turned sour when Bette and Tina had to bring up the horrid fact of pregnancy; torn vaginas. At a baby shower full of lesbians, I doubt Max would be the only one hyperventilating over the horrors of childbirth. I get short of breath just sitting here. Stuck with their own childbirth issues, Bette and Tina find out they cannot adopt a baby in the state of Nevada as gay parents. The only logical thing to do then is to bring the pregnant girl to live with the two of them so she can give birth in California. Sure, no problem, I'm sure that will go off without a hitch. Oh wait, here's one, Bette has already been caught in a compromising position with her new business partner Kelly. Sure, Bette avoided Jessie Spano's advances this once, but they were caught on camera (by guess who…) having what looked like a good time and that's fine with me because it's only a matter of time before Bette breaks anyway. Speaking of the other woman, it's about time someone came between Alice and Tasha. Jamie, the hot counselor who likes to take her shirt off, seems well equipped to do the job. It always seemed logical that Alice and Tasha would end in cheating, but I did not see the ol' lesbian couple fighting over hot single friend routine coming. But who will win the Jamie prize? So far Tasha's in the lead with her police officer father sob story. Does Alice have anything up her sleeve besides fake vegetarianism? Or does she really need anything besides her blatant hotness?  Hopefully, we will find out next week, when we'll also find out if Jenny can continue to user her physic telepathic Exorcist-like powers of devil-crazy to make Shane projectile-vomit when trying to cheat.
Tagged on February 24, 2009
Lessons in Lesbian Social Etiquette from The L Word Season Six
So, why is everyone so surprised that Shane and Jenny are finally doin it? Have we forgotten the premise of this show is that lesbians have a lot of sex with each other? Remember the chart? Seriously, if “Shenny” hadn’t followed the rule that a queer girl must always eventually sleep with her best friend, Ellen Degeneres would of showed up to collect their official lesbian cards from their wallets. This does not negate the fact that it is completely horrid to watch, but rules are rules people. And just when you thought we were out of clichés, enter the lesbian texting circle. Being the first to the scene of the crime, Alice sends a blanket text to let everyone know what Shane and Jenny have done and hilarity ensues. We lol because we’ve aaaaall done it too. “It’s the way that we live and love,” isn’t it though? Lest we not forget that the gays have just as much drama in the entertainment industry as they do in bed, Jenny’s film has been stolen and Alice is about to get fired from The Look for being depressing gay. Now everyone has their theories about who stole the negative and framed Tina for it. From the look in Jenny’s crazy eye when Tina accused her, I’ll put all my money on her. She’d obviously thought about the fact that the editor would still have access to the digitized footage even if the film negative went missing. But why would Jenny want the negative to disappear? Um, who really cares? I’d rather worry about the precious and lovely Alice P. Alice carries the most integral storyline of the show, illustrating the pressure from mainstream media to produce images of queerness that leave out our oppression.  By reading a letter from a fan that details an experience of violent homophobia, Alice puts her job on the line. It’s wonderful to see the truth of the matter being represented here and I’m hoping Alice chooses to speak up even more…Also, did I mention Jenny sucks?
Tagged on February 3, 2009
The L Word Keeps us Guessing In Episode 2.
I’ve just had a tasty waffle for breakfast. My beautiful waffle was offered to me by my lovely friend D’arcy and as I am not a self centered jerk like Jenny Schecter, I accepted. Just two episodes in to what was supposed to be a Jenny free season and I am tempted to use up the next 3 paragraphs outlining how very much I dislike her. Lucky for Jenny, Elizabeth Berkley’s guest spot began last night so I have much more important things to talk about. Jessie Spano jazz danced her way into the hearts of budding American lesbians in the early nineties. In fact it was her who starred in my first dream about kissing a girl, Zach Morris was there too, God was that confusing. Elizabeth Berkley resurfaced last night as Bette’s college roommate which sounds like one hot pocket to me. Honestly, I couldn’t hear that much of the dialogue during her and Bette’s reunion over the cat calls from the dykes on the patio. What I did take away was that Elizabeth looks h-o-t with straightened hair and that Bette is about to go triflin’ again even though she and Tina want another baby. They’ve done so well at proving responsible lesbian parenting already haven’t they? Even Max is considering queer parenting after he “accidentally” got impregnated by his boyfriend. I don’t know why Max thought his testosterone injections would stop his reproductive organs when they haven’t even managed to drop his voice yet. While the general reaction to Max’s pregnancy has been a resounding “wtf?”, I’m excited to see where the story goes. Perhaps, with Max’s integrity, a better picture of queer parenting can be painted, but please god he needs to learn how to trim his beard or that’s going to be one scared newborn… Also of importance is Alice and Tasha’s breakup pro/con list they created. I would really like to know any of the reasons on the pro list because I genuinely have no idea why Alice wants to stay with her. Their couples counseling was worth every penny considering their therapist told them to give it up already prompting them to have “we know we aren’t right for each other” sex in the parking lot. I sure missed Dirty Alice. Oh and apparently, Jenny is in love with Shane now? I don’t know if I can stand it all. I echo Nikki’s poorly delivered sentiment, “You’re dead meat Schecter!”
Tagged on January 26, 2009
The Womens Event 2016