Tagged under "chicago" (3)
|Dear Chicago Nightlife,|
Dear Chicago nightlife,
I miss you. I've been MIA and this is why : I've been hurting and you know what doesn’t feel good? Getting stabbed in the hair, twice. Or alternatively once in the face and then once in the hair. I mean I imagine it wouldn’t feel good. It’s never happened to me physically at least. Emotionally, yes. For me it’s been a summer of getting stabbed…in the hair.
So here I’m supposed to talk about nightlife and fun times and all that jazz. Don’t get me wrong, I love to do the charleston (due to lack of a good lindy hop partner) on the dance floor, drink strawberry linchburgs with extra jack, do the the flirting and the photo taking for my nightlife site www.mizzchicago.com, but there are times when somehow I find myself stuck in soul crushing situations that get so dehydrating. I’ve found myself stuck in a summer of heartache where girls I end up having great likes for just keep finding ways to make my hair and heart hurt a little more. So rather than going out I just want to stay home and read about anything the opposite of lesbian. Like about donating sperm or about how to start a fantasy football team.
And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. OK no, I lied. I hate foosball. Or football? Whatever it’s called. Well the point of all this being, I haven’t had nightlife material to write about because of the hair and heart hurting factor. I mean wow; I haven’t really been out since Chicago market days. And I blame the few silly girls that caused me to become sad and avoidant of the nightlife. Well them, lots of weekend work and getting sick for two weeks. No, I’m just going to go ahead place blame on the girls. I hate them. Someone find me a good one please.Thanks! Preferably a (hot) femme one thats funny and smart. But not too funny, I dont want to get crows feet. In fact everyone go ahead and email me with someone you know that you think would be good for me. No crazies, rebounders, snakes, vampires or atomic bombs or cartoon characters please. Send all nominees to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Anyhow, I’ve had to live vicariously though the lives of Jed and Alex K, my new mizzchicago.com photographers. Thanks to them they’ve been able to capture moments I couldn’t due to heartaches or busyness. Thanks guys!
Although I’m sad the summer is over, it’s a new season and its time to get down and out. My season of the love blues is over and I think its time to celebrate. In fact Jenae, Chicago Dirty Girl promoter, and I are going to be throwing the dirtygirliest and mizzchicagoyiest Halloween party ever existed. Check us out its cause its going to be a gay old time: Spooky n Sweet, Friday October 31st@ spot6, 3343 N Clark. Its going to be two floors of hotties dancing to the sounds of 4 DJs!! We've also got all sorts of giveaways including someone from our local sex shop, Batteries Not Included! No just kidding we're not giving someone away, just some cool stuff, OK? SO If you’re in Chicago come say hi. in the meanwhile Im going to work on getting some nightlife material to write about. summers over and i dont care, im still going out. who's gonna come have a drink with me?
Tagged on October 8, 2008
|Chicago Lesbian Takeover!|
For some reason nothing really goes on for girls on Saturday nights in Chicago. And when I refer to not much going on I’m speaking of Saturday lesbian nightlife. Something happens where bar owners just don’t want to give their Saturdays to lesbians. Another thing happens where lesbian cliques organize their own little get-togethers at wherever and so the roller derby girls go Subterranean and the gay Latina girls to another place that they never invite me to and the jockbe-ans go to someone’s house and play bags that they never invite me to either, and so here I am left with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Where’s the unity my friends? Where? And so I got to thinking about this issue and my brain said, “this must be stopped.” And then my stomach said to my brain to say, “I could eat a steak taco right about now,” not that tacos have anything to do with lesbians. Or do they? Sicko.
With these thoughts in mind, one of my friends and I decided to organize Chicago’s first ever lesbian takeover. We had to pick the right place- it couldn’t be a bar too straight that would scare the ladies away. (A few weeks ago I tried to organize a gay beach takeover, but everyone refused to come due to a potential abundance of boys playing with balls) and of course scorned me for such an idea. Of course the scorn I received proved valid when one of my friends happened to get hit in the head by a football that day. I went home and sulked.
Anyhow, we decided to LTO Minibar- a cute, little, posh (even though I very much dislike that word) and full of gay men, bar that (hopefully) wouldn’t be too upset about our, “uprising.”
The day of the LTO arrived and I texted all the gay girls I knew to come out. Not a single one had responded to my text. I started feeling a little insecure and of course, got to thinking about why no one responded. “Maybe girls think I’m a serial cat killer,” “Maybe I’m too short.” “Is it cause I’m Asian?” “Why do people always tell me to eat hamburgers?” 9pm rolled around and no one showed up to the pre-planned pre-drinking. As I recall, I didn’t even show up. I don’t even know how I know that no one showed up since I wasn’t even there to show how knows pigs nose. Did you recognize that that last sentence there is a nursery rhyme? My fear that no one would show continued rather continuously.
11pm rolled around and my text inbox started going mad! I received one entire text that said, “Are you there yet?” It was a text miracle! Then girls start showing up, including 3 jockbe-ans, 0 roller derby girls, 2 gay Latina girls, and about 30 other types of dykes that I will not categorize at the moment due to laziness. The gay men were confused, or so I heard. The LTO was a success even after my fearful hour of mind spent thinking I was going to LTO by myself. I spent much of the night dancing/ and or yelling, “LTO!! We made it!!” only to receive shushing looks from my fellow dykes. Oh well. Overall it was a fun night. It turns out the end of this story is rather inconclusive. Oops. I’m going to eat a hot dog now.
Tagged on August 1, 2008